Anger Management
by MyMuseIsDead
Summary: Nathan looked from the bottle of Jack, then out the window at his truck. Since drinking or leaving wasn't the answer, option three was the winner.


**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Inspired by episode (3x13 – Thanks for the Memories). No complaints if something isn't canon. I accept all reviews: Good, Bad and (justified) Flames. **

Nathan sat alone on his couch. The only light in the living room coming from the occasional car headlights, and whatever moonlight filtered through the bay window. There was just enough light for him to see the closed bottle of whiskey, and unused glass sitting on the table in front of him. Today wasn't supposes to end like this.

He had promised Audrey that they would find another way. The three of them were going to face that barn together, ending the twenty-seven year cycle and the troubles for good. Audrey would finally be free to live a lifetime filled with her own memories, never worrying about being erased again. They should be celebrating at the Gull right now and, later maybe pancakes. But, he had failed.

Both Audrey and Duke were gone, trapped in that damn barn. He would gladly live a lifetime with his trouble, if it meant getting them back. Sometimes, Nathan felt like he was holding this town together with his own bare hands. And, that Audrey and even Duke were holding him together. He was all alone now.

It was so tempting to lose himself in alcohol, a temporary reprieve from the hell that was now his reality. It wouldn't change anything. The pain of a hangover in the morning would be the only thing he would gain. Losing himself in a bottle to deal with his grief wasn't the answer. It wouldn't make the pain go away. It would only make it worse.

Maybe he should leave this godforsaken town, and never look back. But, people were already expecting him to know what to do next. Maybe after the destruction the meteor storm had caused was fixed and Haven was back to normal, then he would consider leaving. But, runaway wasn't the answer. His grief would follow him no matter where he went. He needed to step up and lead the town. He had to keep this town from imploding, until Duke and Audrey came home. No matter how hard it would be.

It wouldn't matter if he left Haven or how much he drank, anyway. Nathan knew there was no real escape from the pain, sadness, hurt, anger and heartbreak that he was feeling right now. Only time could heal him, but there's just too much that time cannot erase. Maybe he didn't want to heal, instead let this day serve as a reminder of how he failed.

What happened today combine with the pain it caused, was becoming too much for him to handle. He needed some kind of release, or he might have a complete breakdown. Nathan looked from the bottle of Jack, then out the window at his truck. Since drinking or leaving wasn't the answer, option three was the winner.

Nathan stood up and walked to the basement. He had always planned on doing this, but never seemed to have the time or motivation until now. After finding what he was looking for, he walked back to the living room. He stared at the object in his hands, feeling the smoothness of the wooden handle and how heavy it was. A loud bang followed by crumbling echoes throughout the house, as the sledgehammer made contact with the bare wall.

He hits the wall for Audrey, Lucy, Sarah and all the other incarnations before them. No matter what name, occupation or hair color, she is always the same beautiful soul that he fell in love with. He wondered if it was like this with every incarnation, if someway somehow they always found each other. He wondered how many years she had sacrificed herself, for a town that could give a damn about her.

Until Audrey comes home, Nathan will take care of her apartment for her. He will also remind her that she still owes him pancakes. Even if it means he has to wait for twenty-seven years for them.

He hits the wall for Duke. No matter how many times they didn't get along, Nathan knows Duke is a good guy. Duke had proved that they could trust, and count on him to help with the troubles. He finally let go of whatever grudges he had against Duke, and they worked together to try to save Audrey from her fate.

Nathan never told Duke that if they failed, having him around would make Audrey's leaving a little more bearable. Together they would never forget Audrey Parker, and help the next incarnation defeat the barn and finally end the cycle. He wished he could have told him that. Duke had only gone into that barn to save Audrey, because he had asked him to. Like any best friend would.

Until Duke comes home, Nathan will take care of any repairs and pay whatever fees to keep the Cape Rouge docked in the marina. And, see that the Grey Gull is kept under good management. Even if he has to wait twenty-seven years to actually say 'Thank you'.

He hits the wall for the Chief, his Dad. He realized now what his Dad's warning that day in the graveyard, about falling in love with Audrey really meant. He was trying to protect Nathan from all the heartbreak that, he knew Audrey's leaving would cause. Like any loving parent would do. He had been too stubborn, telling his Dad that he wasted his time. But, he knew the Chief would never say 'I told you so'. Nathan's vision was starting to get blurry, and he could feel the tears falling down his face. Still he didn't stop to wipe them away.

He hits the wall for everyone that was hurt or killed by the troubles. If anyone other than those involved saw how hard he fought to save Audrey, they probably would think he was a selfish asshole. Only concerned with saving one person instead, of the whole town.

They wouldn't see a man who was losing the only person he trusted and loved. A man who kept denying that he was fighting a battle he couldn't win, that ended with leaving him all alone. Nathan knew he had to stay strong for the town, and help rebuild.

In a few months no visible traces of the meteor storm will exist. People no longer have to live in fear of the troubles. They have twenty-seven years of Haven being a true Haven. The town will be restored back to its former glory, even if Duke and Audrey won't remember it.

Lastly, Nathan hits the wall for hope. He saw how shooting Howard had affected the barn. It disappeared in pieces, instead of a whole. Audrey wasn't the only passenger this time. Their son James, Duke and Arla were also in the barn. It was different this time, and Nathan couldn't give up hope. Duke and Audrey could come home at any moment, and he didn't want them to see him broken like this.

He needed to take care of himself, scheduling an appointment with Claire would be a step in the right direction. Talking about what happen would help the healing process. He also needed to have a long talk with Vince and Dave about trust. He needed their full cooperation to find out how the troubles begin, and together they could figure out a way to stop them for good. It could be the key to finding the barn again.

But, should the worst case scenario happen and Duke and Audrey come back twenty-seven years later. With different names and memory wiped, he will help them instead of keeping secrets. Together they will face the barn again, only this time they will end the cycle for good or die trying. He hopes that when the day Duke and Audrey finally come home, they will still have their memories. Being forgotten would be worse than death for him.

Nathan takes on last swing at the wall then, admires his handiwork. He feels the adrenaline seeping out of him, and exhaustion taking over. He knows he will feel the ache in his arms in the morning. Still, he can't help thinking that the first floor will look better with an open floor plan.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE #2: After everything that happened in the Season 3 finale, I pictured Nathan dealing with it by hitting something instead of getting wasted. But, that's just my opinion. **


End file.
